I’ve noticed recently, in the vast tapestry that is our lives, there’s a subtle but unwavering thread that consistently pulls us back towards the people who love us unconditionally and are genuinely good for us. I believe in soul groups over soul mates,  which I think is a more realistic look at our time on the earth and the other souls we connect with; a group of people that you have deep and strong bonds with. This is almost like a magnetic force, a homing beacon for the soul. I’ve found that no matter how far I wander, I’m invariably drawn back to the warm embrace of those who have always been my unwavering pillars of support and love. Yes, these are the friends that feel like nothing has changed even if you haven’t seen them for years and your lives have taken different directions.

There’s an undeniable urge within a lot of us to explore the world, to venture into the unknown, unsure of when or if we’ll return. I even fell in love, got married, and made my home on the other side of the world, thinking it was where I wanted to be. 

Yet, it was during a recent journey home that I came face-to-face with the compelling truth that our hearts instinctively gravitate toward the people who have been our steadfast companions on this tumultuous journey called life. Sure, sometimes we lose track of them and ourselves, but they are always there, happy to see us and make time for us when we do gravitate home. 

This was a trip I was supposed to have taken with my son in 2020, but like so many other things for so many other people that year, it was forced into a precarious holding pattern of travel vouchers and uncertainty. I hadn’t realized how much I was looking forward to going home until it was unceremoniously delayed. I was crushed. I had been holding out for that trip home like a little kid holding it together at daycare, waiting to see the friendly loving face of mom or dad coming to pick them up at the end of a tough day. It was to be a welcome respite from the emotional battleground that is separating 18+ years of joined life and divorce, a million miles away from your support unit, which feels so much worse when your spouse is surrounded by theirs.

While living abroad, I’ve met countless people, forged new friendships, and had some extraordinary experiences. I’ve also had some very un-extraordinary, awful, heartbreaking experiences too that go into the “life lessons” folder. You know the folder, it’s the one that holds the adversities that ultimately have shaped us.

But as I navigated the familiar airports and cities of home with my son, I was reminded that while these new connections were beautiful and enriching, they could never replace the profound bond I share with my family and my closest friends. It’s a bond that has been meticulously crafted over the years, through shared moments of joy, laughter, heartbreak, triumph, despair, and everything in between. This bond transcends the constraints of time and space and remains a constant source of solace.

In our quest for personal growth and the allure of novel experiences, we often get caught in the whirlwind of life. We might drift away from our cherished relationships, overlooking the significance of their presence. Yet, at the core of our being, it is the people who have consistently loved us unconditionally that provide us with the foundation for a life well-lived.

During our stay, I reconnected with old friends – those who have been my companions at various life stages through thick and thin. These friends know me inside out, time and distance have never been able to erode the strength of our connection. I think they are incredible amazing people and they think I am too!  These friendships have a rare capacity to endure and pick up right where we left off, no matter the gap.  It was during these shared moments that I was truly reminded of the power of unconditional love and the significance of returning to the people who have always been there for me. I understood that these were my true emotional anchors, the ones who reminded me of my essence which had become diluted and a little bit lost along the way. 

After the trip was over and we returned to the hemisphere we currently call home, I realized that unconditional love isn’t solely about being there for someone when they are at their best; it’s equally about being a steadfast presence when they are at their lowest. It’s about embracing their imperfections, supporting them through their trials and tribulations, and providing a haven where they can be their unfiltered selves. A mirror to reflect back their own light when they are dimmed. 

I was reminded that it’s the small but significant acts of love that make a world of difference. The way friends and family orchestrated heartfelt welcome-back gatherings, gifts, meals, accommodation, vehicles to use, dinners to join, and places to stay – these gestures served as heartwarming reminders of the easy bonds that hold us together.

This trip also reinforced the notion that returning home isn’t confined to a geographical location; it’s more profoundly about returning to a state of emotional comfort and security. Home is where we feel loved, accepted, and valued for our true selves, not the version “they” want us to be. It’s a place where we can let down our guard, be vulnerable, and still be cherished.

It fortified my appreciation for the relationships that have nourished me with unconditional love and served as my north star over the years, even when I didn’t fully realize it. The phone call or check-in from the other side of the world often gave me hope when I had none, or at least the strength to keep going, and hopefully, I’ve done that for them too in times of darkness. These connections form the bedrock of our existence and provide us with the grounding we require to explore the world and ourselves with confidence and purpose.

Regardless of how far we roam or how many new destinations we uncover, we invariably return to the people who love us unconditionally. They are the ones who make us feel at home, no matter where we are in the world. My voyage rekindled my appreciation for the bonds connecting me to my family and closest friends, and I am committed to nurturing these relationships with the same affection and care they have consistently showered upon me. Ultimately, home isn’t merely a place; it’s a sentiment, and it’s a sentiment I carry with me, always.