I don’t know how you feel about lateness, but I can never truly take someone seriously if they don’t take themselves or their commitments seriously enough to be on time.
I don’t buy into the “that’s just the way they are” mindset either. To me, that’s just excusing crappy behavior with an umbrella term that translates to the fact that they refuse to take responsibility for themselves or their impact on other people. And I just don’t get it. How are your plans, that you made, a surprise? Didn’t you agree to the arrangement?
Whether it’s meeting someone in ten minutes, for a meal, a concert, a drink, a coffee, getting to work, a meeting, a dinner reservation, trying to leave the house with someone, or picking someone up, there’s nothing more infuriating than being on time when everyone else is being late.
This has been a recurring theme in my life. It started out as a kid, with my mother. She was always late enough to make it obvious and uncomfortable.
Or to make an entrance, depending on where you were on the totem pole.
As a sensitive child, I felt judged on a cellular level. I have vivid memories of wanting the ground to open up and swallow me whole, absolutely sure it would be less embarrassing than the shame I experienced by always showing up late. (Yes, I was a dramatic yet shy child.)
I find it interesting that I keep attracting late people.
Maybe it’s something I need to learn from and let go. Maybe it’s not.
I am ready to walk out the door on time. I struggle to understand why other people are not.
Not those I am with. In my mind it is simple, you know you have to be somewhere at a certain time, so you plan accordingly, right? At least the time you need to leave the house to be able to make it there on time, right? Or leave one location to get to another. Don’t you?
I am flummoxed (and that is truly the only word I have for it) by people who seem incapable of making the connection that if they choose to stay up late, or start doing something that takes longer than the time they have until they are due to leave, it directly impacts their ability to get up on time or leave the house. I have so little patience for those who behave like it’s a total surprise that they have to be at school or work at the same time every freaking day. Those who make the decision to play another game, have another beer, watch another episode or start their homework after dinner and game time – because that’s what it is…their decision.
And every single late occasion is a complete shock to them, they are indignant, I mean wow, how did this happen? They miss the obvious connection. Them. Like they didn’t realize that they are in charge of themselves and they control what they do. It doesn’t seem like such a leap to me. It did to plenty of people I have known though.
It was a massive surprise at least four days a week to my ex-boyfriend when I was in my 20s, and my fellow classmates when I went back to school in my late 20s and parked at one of their apartments to save the $25+ a day in parking fees, it was a surprise to my sister when I traveled with her and still shocks my kid five days a week almost twelve months of the year. It was always a surprise for coworkers or fellow co-working travel companions (when I traveled for work.) Mornings were and are a mere suggestion to them.
Shout out to my ex-husband though, he was generally on time. Unless there was a football game or alcohol involved. But those are other stories for other times.
There are situations, however, that people still care about lateness…a late period, for example, can set off a series of life-changing events.
A late payment usually involves more money being owed.
A late arrival to an appointment usually means having to rebook. Yet they will make you sit there for up to an hour past your own appointment time without so much as an acknowledgment. Which has never seemed fair to me either. (Again, other stories, other times.)
As I live longer and participate in the expected societal norms with well-trained precision, it’s a glaring example of passive aggression. How to control people without voicing what’s really bothering you. Communicating by miscommunicating.
Although on the flip side of that, as I live longer I realize the things that irk me, are the things for me to work on.
But at least I’m not late!!
I don’t understand people bein late. For all those reasons and selfishness.