Do you think other people can do their jobs properly?
There seems to be an overwhelming mindset amongst the general public, that no one is capable of doing their job properly. Or they ask a bunch of stupid questions and do not listen to the answers. And then ask the questions again. Which only serves to delay anything being done for them. I find most people in the service industries do their jobs very well. The reality of face-to-face interactions makes people take pride in their jobs.
My own thought process is this; if I am paying someone to do a job for me, they are trained professionals. Which is why I am paying them.
Otherwise, if I have to think about them doing their jobs properly, I should just do it myself. I think this is where it gets murky for a lot of people.
Why are our go-to reactions suspicion and distrust? When we just create more suspicion and distrust by approaching people that way.
Sure, everyone has a story of knowing someone who got ripped off by some tradesperson or had a terrible experience once, but that’s really all that is: a terrible experience, once. Most of the time it’s not even our story that we cling to.
I used to live in a resort town, which was mostly awesome, and my fairly profitable side gig as a wedding makeup artist, was, again, mostly awesome. Although one time, the mother of the bride had a makeup artist do a terrible job on her face, about ten years beforehand and shared this experience repeatedly while in the room I was working in, acting as though every makeup artist including me would do the same. She hovered and inspected and questioned and stood so close to me while I was doing her daughter’s (the bride’s) makeup, I could smell her coffee breath, (this was obviously in the days before COVID), I fought the impulse to tell her to back off several times, because if you’re standing so close to someone that they can smell your breath and you aren’t about to make out, it’s too close.
The bride was lovely and completely oblivious, excited by all the pampering on her big day, obviously, this wasn’t new behavior from her mother. The wedding planner soon had her under control (the mother) and I ended up with a big fat tip, but I was shaken.
I had never had anyone be so continuously disparaging and difficult because of something someone else did years before. Move on lady!
Obviously, as the makeup artist, I had to be professional, and could not defend myself or anyone else. I just shut my mouth, focused on the bride, and did my job. But I could not wait to get the F out of there. Which sucked because I used to enjoy the pampering and beautifying part of bridal makeup. This woman cast a negative shadow over the whole thing.
This single experience had such an impact on me, it forever changed the way I viewed professionals and the things I paid them to do.
Which leads to my next thought: if a trained professional offers an idea slightly different to your own, why wouldn’t you listen?
I recently bought two new tires and asked that they put the new ones on the front and the old ones on the rear – it’s front-wheel drive and that was how someone told me years ago it should be done, so that’s what I request, because like so many things in our lives, I never questioned it, I just did it.
The technician suggested the new ones would be better on the back to stop losing control when cornering in wet weather. I hadn’t really thought of that before, but it made sense to me. And besides, these guys do this all day long, there were posters explaining this and endorsements from all the major tire brands they stocked, so obviously it’s enough of an issue that they are trying to educate people, so I made the choice to trust the professional, and agreed.
When I got back to work and shared this news with a male coworker, I was immediately met with, “that’s a bad idea.” Like he was secretly an authority on tires.
I laughed because I thought he was kidding.
Turns out he was not kidding. He replied with a patronizing and sarcastic, “Everybody knows that if it’s a front wheel drive the new tires go on the front.” I just nodded and smiled pleasantly. Making the mental note that he obviously did not know the reason either. And I did not know. How would I know? Because someone said it once?
I contained all impulses to clap my hand to my upper chest and retort, “Well shit, thanks for telling me, I better run right back and make them switch them around! Thank god you told me!!”
Because I guess that was the response he was expecting.
Later on that evening, I was at a family gathering and my new tires came up, because, you know it is so much easier to talk about random crap than real stuff with people sometimes, and a male family friend nearly had a complete mental breakdown because I had agreed to have the new tires put on the back.
He was ranting and raving about how dangerous that was, and he wasn’t surprised when he found out which tire place I went to, because he’s heard of that particular place doing bad business (because this person always magically has dirt on everything and everyone). I felt the need to defend said business because I thought they did a good job. I wasn’t sure what he was trying to achieve, but I let him go, on and on. Trying to look vaguely interested, and fighting the impulse to be sarcastic about his mansplaining of the situation. Mainly unimpressed with his sudden genius-level knowledge of tire placement. Wondering why men felt the need to “set a woman straight,” on anything, especially when she has not asked.
The next time I saw him, he asked if I took my car back to have the “tires corrected”
I said no, and then, before he had a chance to set off on another mansplaining rant, I asked him how his ex-wife was, knowing that would throw him off because he was still an emotional mess concerning his divorce.
A cheap shot, I know, but really, shut up dude.
It worked, and he hasn’t said anything about the tires in subsequent interactions.
Why can’t people be satisfied with not saying anything?
But even as I ask, I know it’s a reflection of their own insecurities.
It makes me a little sad that we appear to have arrived at a place in society where we are so distrusting and suspicious of other people.
But also makes me curious.
Is this everywhere? Obviously, I can’t make a sweeping generalization about everybody everywhere.
What do you think? Is this something you notice as you go about your day-to-day life?
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