I’m old enough to remember when there would only be one phone number for a whole house. Everyone would scramble to answer the phone – or at least see via caller i.d who was calling. Everyone had an answering machine, the small machine lent an official air to the house, and you could listen to people leaving messages and pick up halfway through if you wanted. It was usually exciting to see that red light blinking when you got home, or if you knew you were in trouble, it was a relief to get home before mom so you could erase the message.

The whole communication process was so much more connected. You would answer the phone and be forced to communicate with whoever was calling, or when calling your friends’ houses, be forced to communicate with one of their family members.

You felt like part of a community.

Fast forward to now, I work as an applications coordinator for a real estate company (yes, I know, unbelievable that my income isn’t solely generated from writing), in a nutshell, people apply for rentals, and I process their applications, which means I must speak to them. By phone.

This small yet incredibly relevant detail seems to escape a lot of people. When I call, they don’t answer, and when I leave a voice message, they’ll call back with a defensive “you called me?”

I work in an office with six phone lines exiting and one phone number so that it could have been any of us. It’s property management, so we all make phone calls all day. When I ask if they listened to their voice message (because a business will leave a message), I usually get a bunch of words in reply that mean “no.” Then we play the guessing game of who may have called them about what.

OK then. Not annoying at all.

I am unsure how they think the process works if they apply for something but never answer the phone. Just put down a bunch of random information and then move in?

Unfortunately, that is not how it works; I need to speak to you; that incredibly well-paying job needs to be verified, and that “friend” you put down as guarantor needs to go through the application process.

I get it, though, because I do it sometimes, too; I choose not to answer the phone. If the number calling me is local, and if I know I have an appointment coming up or have made an inquiry somewhere, I usually answer. I won’t if I feel the caller could correspond via text or voice message. After all, if it’s important, they’ll leave a message.

It seems, in general, we are so bombarded by spam calls trying to speak to us about our vehicle’s extended warranty (out of interest, raise of hands whoever has ever purchased anything from an unsolicited phone call?) or telling us the IRS is coming to get us, or any one of the other dozen or so spam calls that make the rounds, that people are jaded by the phone these days.

So, they just don’t answer the phone, or, to the other extreme, there is now reverse screening, where you must state your name, business, and purpose to a robot before the call even connects – if it decides you make the cut.

That’s mildly irritating and pretentious.

This is ironic because most people are constantly glued to their phones, randomly surfing the web, impulsively checking social media, or even playing games and watching TV 24/7.

Separating someone from their phone is enough to cause the threat of violence or at least a panic attack.

Those worried about a zombie apocalypse must already see it is here. Semi-conscious people speaking in strange incomplete sentences, barely registering their environment, looks pretty zombie-like to me.

And then there is the joy of attempting to raise a child in this constant screen environment. I can see the battle is halfway won if both parents have the same views on phones and screen time, but when they don’t, it’s a mess.

When one parent does not let go of their own phone through the toddler and early childhood years; keeping it at the dinner table, leaping to answer texts immediately, and not putting it down when communicating with family members, it sends a clear message to the child and the other parent.  

Generally, that one parent, instead of agreeing with the plan they had previously agreed upon to model for the said child (because they had talked about it often), then decides it is an attempt to control them personally and loses sight of their role in the family, so chooses to rebel by continually having the phone glued to the hand all the time.

This is a whole other level of dysfunction. How is there any hope for the kids if their parents have no control?

It’s rude people. The quickest way to let someone know you do not value them or even want to be around them is to stare at your phone continually.

But like everything, if it’s not seen as a problem, it’s not a problem, right? Or is it?