F.M.L? Seriously people.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve noticed a “trend” amongst some people around me to buy into the teenaged eye-rolling indulgence of F.M.L, (F*ck My Life) usually said with a big sigh and in response to something not going their way or something happening that’s out of their control but impacts them.
I get it that teenagers are still learning about life and how to respond to it, but adults? Wow, people, suck it up. I can’t imagine why they are indulging in the phrase… is it cool to act like a victim? I missed the memo.
But I think it makes them look whiny and immature, choosing victimhood over just dealing with it. And then this brings about the question- since when was it considered cool as an adult to act like you are somehow exempt from dealing with stuff? Although we all have elements of these tendencies, I don’t know about you, but I if catch myself going down the negative road I stop.
My ex-husband used to work with a bunch of people who were pros at this immature response, and I used to hate hanging around with any of them, and in turn, him when he had been hanging around them.
It was all “OMG”, “I can’t believe this,” and “FML” – it used to make me cringe. These people were adults. And usually moaning and fussing because they had to be adults…. you know, show up at work on time, pay bills, keep gas in the car, pick up the kids, buy food, pay rent, and be responsible and reliable.
I would encourage him to take the adult route of just dealing with stuff, pointing out that dealing and being in control of your reactions was way cooler than eye rolling and the immature F.M.L sentiment, but the pull of the cool kids was too strong for him to resist.
We eventually got to the point where I asked him to stop saying it at home and modeling such a crap attitude in front of our impressionable son. And it was so unattractive, why would anyone deliberately choose to shirk their life and act like everything was just “too much?”
This contributed to his resistance to all parental responsibilities. Especially the one where as a parent you acknowledge that your actions and attitude affect your kid. And he proved “I was not the boss of him” by having an even more immature attitude and reverting to his rebellious teenage ways complete with his own cool kid skank squad and staying out drinking and partying all night.
This was a solid lesson for me about the maturity of the person I had decided to breed with, and basically the death knell of our marriage. I need someone who takes responsibility for and embraces their influence on others, not pisses all over it.
But that’s another story for another day….
I presumed that it was just that small group of calendar-defined adults who did that, but I was mistaken. And then I started to question, is it geography that fosters this attitude?
In all my travels and all the places I’ve lived, it has never been more embraced than here.
Is it a result of the fallout of the 2016 election? Was it a generational thing? Was it left over from high school? This is the reason that resonated with me most at the time, although now, years later, it’s more ingrained in those around me than ever. What on earth is happening here? And why are people so willing to give away their power with such a lame response?
Why would you willingly give away your autonomy in a situation?
Why would a person be satisfied with remaining powerless?
Why wouldn’t you want to control your life?
So many questions!
I understand that if someone is not taught to think empowered thoughts, they never will. If someone does not have people in their lives (especially children) modeling this behavior, then how are they to know there is a different reaction they can have?
Is there an age limit for people to change their thoughts? Do they not realize they are only thoughts, and thoughts can be changed? Do they even have the awareness that they are even doing that? Or is it unconscious? I don’t know, but I think the longer people live, the lazier they get in their thought processes; they lose curiosity and rebellion.
Is it any wonder that in the majority of movies and tv series where the people saving the world and fighting all sorts of underworld/supernatural entities are young, – besides the fact that they are youthful and good-looking, it’s also because they aren’t trapped yet by the confines of their own thoughts, they still think they can alter the world.
Because let’s face it, even in free countries (like the US) the citizens are not very free at all. Constantly told what to think, what to do, what to eat, what to drive, who to hate, what to spend your money on, using the pull of “being the cool kid” every aspect of life is controlled, with just enough money to make it to work and feed the family, but not enough to cover major health care or stay in your home if you are out of work for 6 months.
Insured to within an inch of their lives, the false security blanket tragically falls short when it is really needed. We are enslaved to a corrupt system, controlled by our places as society dictates, the roles we are assigned are usually done so by elementary school.
But this doesn’t have to be carved in stone. We are all in control of our thoughts, we are all capable of learning and teaching ourselves the thoughts we want to have. We are free in the aspect of access to knowledge, and that is huge.
All we need is the curiosity to do so.
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